I'm imagining you all (all 3 people who regularly read my blog) judging me. You're thinking that there are people out there struggling with true addiction and I should just shut my pie hole already. Okay, maybe I'm projecting. That's what I'm thinking.
And more than that - I'm thinking I don't mind my addiction too much, except - on the rare occasion when I snooze a 10th time and don't have the 4 additional minutes in my commute to swing by the Drive-thru at my local coffee shop (rhymes with Barclucks). It's on those days that are met with bad cafeteria coffee that I realize the depth of my "condition".
'Cause you don't want an 8:15am meeting with me when I'm running on what can only be described as the water dressed in brown that they're peddling at our in-house cafe. It is most certainly not my Grande Red Eye (House Blend with a shot of espresso) that jolts me into alertness on most mornings.
The truth is - I'm a real bitch without real coffee.
I don't function at my highest level. I don't play well with the other kids in the sandbox. I don't share my toys. I pick fights. I put on a face that would prompt any mother to remind me that it could "get stuck that way."
Put it in a pint glass or a crack pipe - I've got me a bonafide addiction. And I don't think anyone in a 12 cubicle radius of me is gonna sign up to be my sponsor. "Because deep down in places they don't talk about at parties - they want me on that coffee. They need me on that coffee." (imagine my best Jack Nicholson impersonation. Which, let's be honest, sounds like me - just really loud.)
So, no 12-step program for me. No cessation support groups. No therapy sessions. Just me and my jumbo java - addicted and lovin' it.
2 comments:
There's nothing wrong with Coffee, it's good for you. At least that's what half the studies done on the subject say. You know the half where the Researchers are also users. So enjoy the Cuppa Joe it's almost like health food.
I'm with you! I like the java jive and it likes me.
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