And Along Came Deafness

It's Monday. I state this because while I like to imagine that everyone I know checks my blog with the frequency of a rabid bride-to-be checking her on-line registry - the truth is it could be days before anyone reads this.

Mondays aren't my most favorite thing in world. They aren't any worse than Sunday nights as the 60 Minutes stopwatch ticks away the last few hours of my weekend (see posting), but still, Mondays are a stinker.

I am preparing for a big weekend tailgate (yes, it may well take 5 whole days to get ready for it), swung by the store and bought pounds of flour, sugar and other baking essentials and decided to shake Monday off with a quick episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" before embarking on Bakefest 08. (Remind me to tell you some time about the brilliance that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer some time.)

Anyway - I'm trying to listen to the quippy dialogue of Buff and the gang - except I can't. Why not, you ask? Because my mother-effing neighbor has his surround sound bumpin' out the bass like he's livin' large in "da club." Except it's not "club time" - it's freaking 5:30 p.m. That's "quiet reflection time", Jackhole.

Now, I have almost dropped a couple expletives, which I am in no way against, except that - aside from the fact that my neighbor plays his tv system way too loud - he's a pretty nice guy. The reason I know this is I've called the main office, written a formal complaint and knocked on his door myself on a few occasions to ask him to turn the volume down. All that and he still smiles and says "hi" when he sees me hauling groceries up the stairs. Granted, he doesn't offer to carry them, but still.

Most days, I opt not to hammer away on his door and once again ask if he might turn down the surround sound, mainly because I look like crap when I'm hunkered down for the evening and no matter how pissed I am at him - I wouldn't subject him to that terrifying sight.

So, I take deep breaths, "accidentally" bang on the wall and run to my computer to trash the old guy next door whose bass is too loud. Because some day I imagine I'll be the old lady whose got "The Price Is Right" blaring from her condo and the poor little next-door-neighbor will curse and bang on the wall and rage about me on their blog. And to that I simply say - karma, baby.