Stalking and Other Favorite Pastimes

Tonight I rushed home from work, jumped in the shower, got semi-gussed up and called my friend CT to see what time we were meeting the girls out. I love girls night out. Especially my girls.

Alas, tragedy struck because, well, I'm a dumb-ass who has had a lot on her mind lately. When I called CT, she reminded me that we were all hanging out NEXT Tuesday. I could practically hear her roll her eyes through the phone. Crap.

So there I was, all dressed up with no place to go.

So, I decided to go out anyway. No place fancy mind you, but it seemed like a waste of lip gloss to throw on the yoga pants and look all cute for the Olympics.

I decided to start at Meijer, mainly because I've been meaning to cash in my big change jar for some time now and for some reason cashing in change always feels like free money. Yes, I get that it's MY money, but it's just CHANGE. That is until you dump it into a Coinstar machine - that's when the magic happens and it becomes actual money. Imagine me 15 minutes later with $79.16 in my purse and a smile on my face.

Now that I had free money - I decided to hit my favorite store (rhymes with Smarget) where there was Clorox wipes and new gym socks ready to become new treasures. I was about to head home when I realized I was about 50 pages from finishing the third book in this series my sister has gotten me hooked on. The fourth book is out and I figured I'd pick it up at my local books and coffee place.

Books and Coffee places are some of my favorite places. Mainly because I love books and I love coffee and the sumbitch who put the two together can have my firstborn child for doing such a nice thing for the rest of us. I perused the bargain books (nearly buying a "Learn Spanish in 30 Days" cd for $6.98 - except am I really going to learn Spanish in 30 days or is it going to sit and collect dust right next to my "Learn Italian" and "Learn Japanese" cd's? I continued on.) I finally picked up the final installment in little book drama and headed for the coffee section, as I usually grab a cup of joe and cash out at the same time.

Except today, apparently everyone on the planet needed a cup of coffee at 6 o'clock at night and there was a line from here to Indiana. I decided I'm already staying up too late with the Olympics and this crack cocaine-like addiction I've procured over these books, so I opted to head straight for the regular cashiers. And that's where I met him.

I love free money. I love perusing Smarget. I love Books and Coffee. And now - I love Phillip. Phillip is the cutest non-tv-personality boy I've seen in ages and he smiled at me and asked if I was all set. Oh was I!

I handed Phillip my book, at which point he spoke the name of the title aloud. It was then that I cringed a bit. Did I mention these habit-forming books can be found in the Young Adult section of the bookstore? Oh yeah. Phillip now thinks my reading level hovers around that of your average junior high student. Awesome.

I smiled and said, "Yeah, my damn sister."

Phillip said, "Ohh."

I could have left it at that. Let sweet, beautiful Phillip think that my sister is a sassy tween whose birthday is right around the corner and aren't I a good big sis to buy her books instead of the latest Jonas Brothers cd?

But naturally I said, "Yeah, she's gotten me hooked on these books."

Instead of rolling his eyes and sticking his finger down his throat, the angelic Phillip simply smiled and said, "Do you have a Books and Coffee membership?"

I said, "No."

Phillip said, "Could I interest you in one?" (hmmmm)

"No, thank you," I responded.

"Okay," said Phillip.

"Wow, where's the hard sell?" I asked. (This, sadly, is how I flirt. Very lamely.)

Yet still, Phillip smiled and said, "That IS my hard sell."

"Hmm. Needs some work," my answer with a wink. (yes, I also wink. I can't stop myself. I curse my grandfather for ever teaching me how to wink. People must always think I'm picking them up, whether I am or not.)

Unfortunately, I only had the one book and since Phillip has cat-like speed working the cash register, out brief interlude was just that - brief.

"Have a great night," Phillip smiled and chuckled.

"You too..." and I checked out his Books and Coffee badge, "...Phillip."

And it was over.

Except I fear, it will not be. Now my weekly trips to Books and Coffee will not follow the same routine of magazine rack, novelty books, new in paperback, biographies, spirituality, bargain books, coffee counter. No, I'm sure it will now be main checkout, information booth and aisle check for a green lanyard and a badge swinging along with one divine word - Phillip.