Upchuck at the Cineplex

I swear - sometimes I am such an old friggin' lady.

Had this amazingly beautiful day off and headed down to the movie house with my pops. He's retired, which makes him the world's best playmate on days off.

Anyway - we opted to see a film that rhymes with "Corn Shmultimatum" and, I wish I were kidding, I actually threw up a little afterward (yeah, Dad, I know I said "upset stomach" but the orange bathroom got a little spit up action)

And here is why I'm an old lady - it was all of the hand-held camera action of the movie. Honestly, I feel like I got off the Witch's Wheel at the Centerville Fair. Dizzy, headache and a stomach that was wishing it had more than one Boddington's in it at the time.

My fear is this: what else am I too old for? Okay, action movies with bouncy chase sequences - Check. Smokey bars with the bass turned up too loud - Check. ANY bar with a line out the door - Check. I fear the list is substantially longer, but I'm embarrassed to go on.

I guess the point is this - on my next birthday, if you're looking for the perfect gift? Maybe a nice Medic Alert ("I've fallen and I can't get up"). You can send it:

c/o
Old Geezer in Kalamazoo
4356 Crotchety Avenue
Infirmed, MI 49006