It all started when I was in school. Sundays were days spent finishing up homework and science projects and it was all brought to the pinnacle by the sinister ticking of the 60 Minutes stopwatch.Was there ever a more stomach-dropping sound than that stopwatch? The splendor of Dukes of Hazard and The Love Boat were a distant memory in the tick-tick-tick-tick (times infinity) of that second hand. And it all meant one thing - the weekend was over. Turn in your Fun Passes at the door and settle in for another week of monotonous lesson plans and poorly-written teen drama. (I like my teen drama well-scripted: ala Dawson's Creek or Buffy the Vampire Slayer - real teen angst is ugly and not equipped with snarky, funny and smart banter. Bummer)
Anyway, even in the absence of Algebra II homework and my OCD-ish ability to avoid network TV on Sundays - I'm still left with the Phantom Stopwatch. It's like people who lose a finger or a leg and they still imagine its presence. No matter how old I get, Sunday nights just suck. They suck up one side and down the other. They suck my big fat toe. (Okay, maybe my maturity level is the same, 'cause "suck my big toe" is about as adolescent as I like to go.)
So, what am I getting at? I dunno. Abolishment of Sundays? Death to all stopwatches? Kicking Andy Rooney in the ding ding? None of them seem particularly likely (or fair), so I guess this - maybe a mental realignment. Nobody likes a hater and I'm definitely a Sunday hater.
So let me begin with a meditative mantra: Love your life. Even Sundays.
Afterall, what has Sunday ever done to me?
3 comments:
As a longtime Sunday night anxiety sufferer, I believe there are some effective remedies.
Turn off the TV no later than 6:30. I, too, dread the 60 Minutes stopwatch.
Start cooking a good dinner as early as possible.
Drink at least a half bottle of good red wine.
Dean
Is it possible to avoid Sunday simply by skipping straight to the bottle of good red wine?
M
Did somebody say Flight of the Conchords? Over red wine of course. I realize this goes against the whole "no TV after 6:30". But there must be a reason why HBO has their best programming on Sunday nights. Is this why I'm up until 2am?
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